Lately my journey has been basically nothing but little thoughts, afraid of the of light so they hid in the corners of my head, but not afraid to raise their voices to be heard, they know if one of them makes a convincing discussion and gets chosen, it will be the star of the show, it will get my full devotion and have every gear in body working to make it true.
a few of them walked that path, they were the chosen ones, we worked day and night to make them a reality but they didn't last in the endless battle, for that one chosen thought needs to be strong from the start,it needs the weapon of passion, it needs to evolve and grow stronger with time as the enemies of reality become more vicious to the idea, and it needs to stay on top of the dwelling monsters of the mind. My previous chosen ones have survived the start of the journey, they usually do, as they are not chosen ones for nothing, but the road is tough, we strapped our gear and made our plans, read and learnt from the books written by the elder thoughts, the toughest ones who survived the longest, and started our journey again, from the start. I still believe in my chosen ones, they have not died in vain, from every one that fell i gained a new weapon that slays the beast that killed it! Yet this time it's different, this time the beast is strong, and the battle is long, years long, I'm running out of the elder's weapons and I feel anxious and distressed, but here is the thing, IF i lose this battle or even give up, sure i will go back to my resting place, have a moment of peace and quiet, a few days or weeks will pass and the dark thoughts of rotting in my place and losing all the powers I gained through the years will creep up and turn the resting place into ruins, and before i know it I will be on the road again with another chosen one, fighting the same beast I did before, but at that time it's strength would have doubled, and the burden will be heavier. So maybe the road is too rough, maybe I'm not that tough, but to me, I have no other choice but to keep fighting the endless fight in hopes of a peaceful resting place where the darkest parts of my mind rest happily.......... But is there such place ?
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AuthorAhmad Al-Natshe Archives
July 2019
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